Honduras 2 – moving through my anxiety

Our second day started early due to the road closures. Truck drivers had been blocking major thoroughfares for days to protest the privatization of healthcare and schools by the government. Because of this, our journey had to start an hour earlier to get up into the mountains to reach the village we were there to serve.

The early morning didn’t bother me. I had not slept much thinking about what it would be like on the mountain. I was also anxious from reading the local news on Twitter. It was one thing to put myself in supposed danger, but I had brought my daughter along to give her needed ‘perspective.’

How could I possibly ever forgive myself if something happened to her?

The unknown was bringing me more and more anxiety each passing moment. I had so many what if’s going through my head: What if we get kidnapped? What if we need medical care but the doctors are all on strike? What if this damn bus falls off the side of the mountain? I hated riding in mountains on reliable transportation, how could I possibly survive this journey?

Then there was the ride itself. The lack of AC on this ancient school bus wasn’t nearly as awful as the fumes wafting in with plumes of dust and dirt. (But, since we were unable to shower anyway, getting dirtier didn’t seem to matter at this point.)

I spent the first ride watching the landscape move past. The mountains of this area of Honduras have such a rustic beauty and they started to relax me. Every turn seem to bring a relaxing breath. I had no control over anything that would happen from here on out, and the only thing I could do was breathe.

We would make this trek on the rocky mountain roads each day and each day I would find something I missed. A beautiful shady tree, an unfinished church with gorgeous stained glass, an iguana rushing into the bushes as the bus goes by, countless horses and cattle finding food… there was always something new to see. We would also pass the people who live in these remote villages. Their big beautiful smiles gleam from their naturally dark skin. Everyone waves and smiles as we drive past. So much kindness and welcoming to strangers coming into their world.

Slowly, I felt my body unclench and fill with excitement of what would happen next.

Las Tablas begins to fill my soul

The journey up into the mountains can take about 2 hours to get to the village of Las Tablas. It is here where our church has created a relationship through Lunches4Learning and Ministries in Action to provide assistance. This year our task was to provide a library for the school. The school has been slowly built year after year and the children who attend this school are guaranteed one nourishing meal each day they attend.

As the bus arrived at the school, the children run to greet us. As we disembark, these beautiful children in their adorable uniforms hug each member of the team. The teachers have been striking for a while, so technically the children have no reason to come to school. We  are honored to be greeted so warmly. They hold our hands and lead us to the classrooms. Some teachers have also come and we gratefully accept their help in organizing the children into the classrooms. No one really understands one another because none of us are fluent in each other’s language, but we somehow find ways to communicate.

We begin new routines and find ways to relate to the children and few adults. The little ones love to color and have story time. There are obvious signs of children who may be suffering from one thing or another and there are other kids who excel, much like any other classroom in the world. We find ways every day to relate to them. Some of the team members play sports (mostly soccer), some spend their time working on constructing the library, some work on categorizing the books we’ve brought to fill it. Everyone finds a place and it can easily change during the day. The days are very long and extremely hot as the heat index rises above 100 each day.

The first day I wanted to help with the construction. I desperately wanted to work so my mind wouldn’t wonder. I grabbed my gloves and headed out with the men and immediately noticed this was not something expected or possibly wanted. It had not occurred to me the men would be uncomfortable with my presence but as the morning progressed I decided to move on to other tasks. I’m still not sure they didn’t want me working along side them but I certainly didn’t want to cause any friction my first day.

After lunch everything slows down. Maybe it was heat exhaustion or maybe it was an unwritten rule, but every one finds shade and has some rest. A few hours later, we’re back on the bus and headed back to Nacaome for the night.

About the author

Wife, Mother, Chief Strategist for Willis Family Adventures